3 Things My Parents Never Told Me
Today is my dad’s birthday, so I thought it would be a good day to share a post devoted to he and my mom. Both my dad and mom were teachers, so there is no shortage of wisdom that they passed on to me concerning parenting and children, as they each taught 30-plus kids each for 30-plus years each. But some of the most important lessons I needed in order to be a good father were things my parents never told me…they showed me. Here are three of the many things my dad and mom showed me.
1. The best way to love your kids is to first love your spouse. My parents are unicorns it seems. I have never known two people who genuinely love to be around each other so much that they never even need to be apart. They are a package deal; they do everything together and they love every minute of it because they are with each other. As a kid I did not understand that this was weird, I just knew it was my family dynamic. As a spouse, I realize how hard it is. I am sometimes selfish and just need to be by myself. At times I give more attention and love to Nora than I do to Meredith, even though I know she needs the best version of me too. I do not want that. I want Nora to know that the reason I love her so much is because I loved her mother first and because I see so much of Meredith in her. My parents showed me and my brother that every day.
2. You can never give too many kisses or say “I love you” too many times. Growing up, sometimes I thought that my dad had just run out of things to say, or at least he was bored. Constantly, he would get my attention with a “Hey!”, I would look at him, and all he would say is “I love you”. This happened multiple times a day every day. I can remember being occasionally annoyed with it and just wanting to continue playing uninterrupted. Now that I am a parent, I have realized that it was not a case of having nothing to say. Instead, every time I look at Nora I am flooded with so much awe and amazement that the only thing that can encapsulate how I am feeling is to tell her how much I love her and plant a kiss on her cheek. I want her to know without a doubt how she makes my world shine.
3. If you do it right, you don’t have to tell people about your faith. My dad never told me I had to follow Jesus. He never preached to me. We prayed as a family, we went to church and served the community, but he never felt compelled to push me into a box that was filled with what he believed about God. Instead, he and my mom showed us what it meant to be a servant, to love the people around you, to be positive and uplifting, and always be an advocate for those that can’t advocate for themselves. So, when I matured in my own faith and realized what it looked like to love and live like Jesus, I understood that had been the framework they had laid for us all along. You never had to wonder what my parents believed about the world because of the way they tried to live, believing in a God that is big and good and loves everyone – no exceptions. Don’t tell me, show me.
There are a ton of other things that my parents taught me along the way, but these are three that I hope I can improve on and grow into to be the best husband and dad for my family.
